Today I lived one of the hardest days of my life. And I’m not exaggerating. I know, I’m supposed to be positive. But it was one of those moments when life knocked me down. Words like knives hit my heart from every direction. And I was so weak and depressed that I ended up asking myself: why do I exist? What is the purpose of this painfull life?
Despite the difficulty of this day, I saw something good in it and that there is something positive in every hurtful experience.
What did I learn?
I had the chance to understand Jesus better. What He been through while He was on earth. I felt how it is to be hurt by words that can cut like knives in our hearts. Got to a point to question my life. Felt no love, no hope and no faith.
It’s true, I didn’t experience the physical pain He been thru, but I did experience the interior suffering He had. I saw how badly a word can hurt. And what it means to be rejected, hurt and misunderstood. I was absolutely certain that no one can understand me better than Him.
What was positive? I understood Him much better than I ever did before. I finaly understood what He’s been through for us. The pain He felt. Nobody prepares you for such an experience. You have to go through it yourself to understand.
My thoughts were: This is what Jesus had to endure? And all He did was make life easier for us. He left His glory and came on this awful earth for us and we killed Him. We spoke words that hurt so much without even thinking. And He gave us eternal life. That’s how we say “thank you”? We don’t even deserve to exist.
Feeling the pain He felt, made me realise all these things better than I ever did before. And now I’m going to live my life differently than I used to. I’ll be more wise in the actions I’ll make and think twice before I say a hurtful word. Because I now know what it was like to be Him. How much He had to suffer and endure.
If my life is going to change and if I’m going to be a true christian example for others, then I won’t regret living this painful experience.
Maybe you have to go through fire sometimes to be a better person. Maybe all you see are clouds so that you’ll learn to appreciate the sun. For a positive change in your life these experiences are worth it! And trust me, I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t for your own good.
When I was in the middle of all this today, I didn’t see what’s positive. But when the clouds cleared out, I saw the sun…and everything became crystal clear to me. God allowed me to go through this painful day for my own good. I didn’t realise it on the moment. But He remodeled me in a much better person than I was yesterday. And all I can say now is “Blessed be His Name!”
In the end I’ll leave you with the lyrics of the song “Overcomer” by Mandisa. A song that personally encouraged me. You can click on the name of the song if you want to listen to it. Enjoy!
Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
Everybody’s been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you’re not alone
Just take a breath, don’t forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know